Article / Susan Sassi

Tinder Warning for the Naive

Tinder Logo

After a long exhilarating run of being single, I decided to finally start putting real effort into finding a long term relationship.   I consulted with the very hippest of my friends to give my online dating profile a well needed boost.  One of my friends suggested Tinder,  the hot new dating app. He said it worked for his friends. So, I signed up and this happened:

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“Woooh Farley! Slow down tiger.  Phone number already? That seems a little too fast.”  My friend, the Tinder expert, said that it is probably a bot fishing for my number.  So, this happened:

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No reaction to “do you have a dolphin?” Farley was definitely a robot… or so I thought.

As I kept playing with Tinder, I noticed something odd.  My matches wouldn’t communicate with me. A match on Tinder means you both chose each other.  If we both chose each other, why wouldn’t you communicate with me?  It was very odd.   It didn’t make any sense that people would be on Tinder choosing people but not talking to them and frankly it was pissing me off!

I did a google search for Tinder and found the missing piece of information to the Tinder puzzle. What I learned was, Tinder is just like Grinder but for straight people.  It’s for hooking up, ogling/making fun of complete strangers, and drinking games.  NOT FOR DATING! Doh!  Boy was egg on my face.  I feel so naive, but also embarrassed and even secretly a little hurt that no guy tried to take advantage.  Thinking back to Farley, maybe he wasn’t a robot but a guy who didn’t care about dolphins and was only after one thing, Tindering my Twitter.  You don’t deserve a dolphin Farley! YOU DON’T DESERVE A DOLPHIN!!

For more terrible dating advice and information on how to save dolphins
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26 thoughts on “Tinder Warning for the Naive

  1. I have never heard of these places … omg I am sooooo 1990’s!

    Still … what if the person had said they liked dolphins … and that he still wanted you to call. Me? I would freak out because … because…. err… I am a weenie?

    Anyway … I wanted to get back to you since I have not been on much of late…I want to go through some of your other blog posts *smiles*

  2. LOL! “Tindering my Twitter.” Yeah, I’ve had my share of bots on Craigslist and Yahoo IM when I used to go there often. As I tell some people: it’s like searching for diamonds; you have to dig through a lot of crud to find the jewels. And so far, I’ve found 2 people on Craigslist who are now some of my best friends. Whether searching in the internet or at a bar or club or church, if you want to find the rare, shining diamond, you have to go through a lot of crud.

  3. I’m on tinder! I actually havent had any creepers yet… And only one guy that was “only town on the weekend, didn’t wanna catch a cab to me so we could just go to his hotel, but we didn’t have to go to his room, just sit in the lobby for a while”… Lmao besides that i’ve talked to a few cuties!

  4. Party like it’s 1986, or 1991 if you live in the Midwest. I didn’t even know what Tinder was, and thought it was something like Flickr. You kids and your apps!

    Take heart, Ms. Sassi, Los Angeles has to have some non-Farley guys who like dolphins. If not, you’re free to visit me in the middle of nowhere and we can go to an ice cream social or whatever it is young people do these days. I don’t talk to them much, only to tell them to get off my lawn.

  5. I stopped using tinder a few weeks ago… too many douches for my liking lol. My coworker showed me cliqie.com and I’m a big fan of that over the others in terms of actually meeting people vs. just entertainment. It has a different approach that feels less sketchy cause you and your friends essentially act as “wingmen”. I like that it helps you find things to do too. Skout’s okay too, but still has it’s fair share of creepers

        • Hey Vicky
          The clique website doesn’t seem to be working. Also I’m LA based :( I was so excited to try it! Do you think they’ll expand to the LA market anytime soon?

          • Hmm, I signed up about 2 months ago. I had to request access then got the email to log in about a week later. I’m not sure about LA, I’m in Boston. It’s really popular around here though, I know lots of people at BU and NU (and some alum) who use it. I know my friend in CT just joined so hopefully they’ll be out in LA soon enough if they aren’t already

            • Hmmm. How do you request access? Maybe I can send them a message requesting they branch out to LA

            • There’s a request access button on the login page when you go to cliqie.com. It asks for your zip code. I’m guessing they do it by demand, so if lots of people request access from an area they’ll probably be more likely to open it up to that area first since it shows you people/groups within 50 miles of you I think

            • Haha, never been called a rockstar before so thanks! Glad it worked. Hope it helps!

            • Haha there is a first for everything. I will let you know how it goes. Hopefully they will set up in LA and I’ll get access!

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