After a long exhilarating run of being single, I decided to finally start putting real effort into finding a long term relationship. I consulted with the very hippest of my friends to give my online dating profile a well needed boost. One of my friends suggested Tinder, the hot new dating app. He said it worked for his friends. So, I signed up and this happened:
“Woooh Farley! Slow down tiger. Phone number already? That seems a little too fast.” My friend, the Tinder expert, said that it is probably a bot fishing for my number. So, this happened:
No reaction to “do you have a dolphin?” Farley was definitely a robot… or so I thought.
As I kept playing with Tinder, I noticed something odd. My matches wouldn’t communicate with me. A match on Tinder means you both chose each other. If we both chose each other, why wouldn’t you communicate with me? It was very odd. It didn’t make any sense that people would be on Tinder choosing people but not talking to them and frankly it was pissing me off!
I did a google search for Tinder and found the missing piece of information to the Tinder puzzle. What I learned was, Tinder is just like Grinder but for straight people. It’s for hooking up, ogling/making fun of complete strangers, and drinking games. NOT FOR DATING! Doh! Boy was egg on my face. I feel so naive, but also embarrassed and even secretly a little hurt that no guy tried to take advantage. Thinking back to Farley, maybe he wasn’t a robot but a guy who didn’t care about dolphins and was only after one thing, Tindering my Twitter. You don’t deserve a dolphin Farley! YOU DON’T DESERVE A DOLPHIN!!
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